Seems like yesterday I was in the gym at least 4 times a week. Lifting, doing lots of cardio, and eating clean. Fast forward to over a year, and my clothes don't fit right, I'm wearing peasant shirts more often (to hide the tummy, of course) and just not really loving myself.
More than appearances, I want to feel good again. My life underwent so many changes last summer (2010) that I had to shuffle around my priorities and working out and eating right fell by the wayside. Always an emotional eater, I started getting mad that I didn't have the metabolism I once did and stopped caring.
Why is that? Why do we get mad and then do the thing that makes us mad? It's no different than an alcoholic who is angry at themselves for drinking and then drinks to wash away the guilt. Anyway, I'm over it. I'm over not caring, because if I don't care, my girls will see that. They'll see that Mommy doesn't care about what she eats, why should they?
So much more to write on this...wondering how much to share. For now, I'm going to log my workouts and my diet for the day and see where this goes. Goal setting is important but so is keeping yourself in the reality of the situation. I won't set myself up to fail by putting goals in place that aren't attainable. I really don't have 5 days a week to work out, there simply aren't enough hours in a day. But I do have opportunities to stay moving, and I intend to do my best.
Today, I :
- Ate not so good. Let's put it this way: chicken nuggets made an appearance. I wasn't prepared for dinner. This is what happens. Tomorrow's a new day. :)
- Did Cardio Intervals on the treadmill for a mile and a half and did a very, very small circuit of the lat pull down, bicep curls and the bench. I need to document better and be prepared with a circuit before I head over. I wanted to quit halfway through, but my sweet friend Dillon reminded me I could do it. Love that kid!
Here's some of my playlist for tonight. I love me some hip-hop when I need to get motivated!!
Keri Hilson - Turnin' Me On
T.I. - Whatever You Like
Ester Dean - Drop It Low
Sweet dreams - hope I can stay motivated enough to go to the gym again this week! ;)